. . . low flying aircraft use the craters in your garden as navigation marks.
. . . you can't help smiling smugly when you walk your dog past a drive with a
'Beware of the Dog' sign
. . . friends aren't even surprised any more when you leave the party at 10.30 pm
because you don't like to leave the dog on his own for too long
. . . you hide the vet bill from your partner until you know s/he's in a good mood
Navigation marks can be hard work
At six months old tugger is a serious business
What's the difference between a sofa and a dog bed? None!
Maternity leave - essential for bonding
Running free can be a tear-jerker
"What's yours is ours, Dad -
them's the rules, you know!"
. . . you're playing tugger with your six month old puppy and you have to hold on to
the door frame for support . . . and he still wins
. . . your heart sinks when you're searching the net for a holiday cottage and all the
dog-friendly ones read 'one small well-behaved dog welcome'
. . . if you had £1 for everyone who asks why you don't ride the dog instead of
walking it you could buy another wolfhound
. . . you buy an expensive settee suite and sit on the floor
. . . when the phone rings during a meal, you take your plate with you to answer it
. . . you buy family sized packs of everything, even though there's only two of you
. . . when the in-laws show off their latest exotic location holiday snaps,
you respond with a fistful of dog photos
. . . you take 'maternity' leave from work because you have a new puppy
. . . you're starting to think that ceramic-tiled floors throughout the house might be nice
. . . and then you think, 'Maybe ceramic-tiled walls would be quite stylish too . . . '
. . . you've stopped eating beef because it upsets the dog's stomach
. . . the sight of your dogs running free across an open field moves you to tears
. . . the pockets of every jacket you possess bulge with emergency poo bags
. . . you have to answer the phone by the second ring, before the howling starts
and the neighbours think the four-minute warning is being sounded
. . . the staff at the vet's surgery fall about laughing when your dog sits on
the chair beside you in the waiting room
. . . you can't remember when you last ate a whole apple/packet of crisps/ice cream
without having to share it
. . . you have accumulated so many photos of your dogs that you set up your own website.